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Why sporrans are way hot­ter than hood­ies!

Mae West liked a man in uniform and so do l.

And not just because it suggests the dolts are used to following orders, although that is always attractive.

There is just something about military tailoring and gold frogging that can set off a spark in the dustiest old boy's heart. However, the opposite also applies.

‘Hot equerry’ Lieutenant Colonel Johnny thompson was seen in mufti recently, wearing truly terrible skinny jeans and — nurse, the smelling salts! — a hoodie.

Hoodies are the go-to tops for toddlers and teenage hoodlums, Johnny, not for the handsome pride of the Royal scottish Regiment.

As my aunty Morag used to say, a man is much diminished without his sporran. so, like any good scotswoman, I’m just going to avert my eyes until Johnny is back where he belongs. In his kilt.

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