Welcome to all our Chinese readers. My name is Mr Television Addict or Dianshi Yin Junzi Xiansheng — but you can call me Yin. It seems only fair. The staff of the Wonderland hotel in Shanghai adopt English names, after all, to welcome Western visitors.
Check in to their spectacular suites, at up to £2,000 a night, and you’ll be welcomed by ‘Richard’, ‘Sandy’ and ‘Sarah’, ‘Avril’ and ‘Dennis’.
Not that you’re likely to be spending a weekend break at the Wonderland. Of its 200,000 annual guests, 90 per cent are Chinese.
The hotel itself is not in central Shanghai but in the suburb of Songjiang, home to a mere two million people — a small town in Chinese terms.
Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond The Lobby is at its best when presenters Monica Galetti and Rob Rinder introduce us to places we not only couldn’t afford but have never imagined visiting.
BBC series Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond The Lobby is best when hosts Monica Galetti and Rob Rinder introduce us to places that we not only can't afford but also have never imagined visiting
Galetti and Rinder at Argos in Cappodoccia, Turkey
In this series, they’ll be checking into a Himalayan lodge overlooking a Buddhist monastery, a hotel within an ancient complex of Turkish caves, and a spa resort in the Malaysian rainforest.
But none is more extraordinary than the Wonderland, hanging off the side of a cliff in what appears to be a meteorite crater but is actually a former quarry, 100 yards deep.
The entrance hall is at the top, the most expensive rooms at the bottom — an upside-down construction that gave Rob an opportunity to prove he can stand on his head.
No doubt that was a useful talent in his previous career as a barrister. Designed nearly 20 years ago by British architect Martin Jockman, the hotel took more than a decade to build at a cost of well over £200 million.
Monica and Rob, both sporting blond crew-cuts, were greeted in the lobby by ebullient general manager Richard. He promised to show them sights ‘that will blow your mind off’.
The first was a laser show projected onto a circular curtain of mist, which paled into insignificance beside the evening extravaganza of lights — an animated tableau of dragons and mythical heroes emblazoned across the vast walls of the quarry.
The Stanglwirt Hotel in Austria on series 6 of Amazing Hotels: Beyond the Lobby
Monica's experience in the kitchen made the cooking sequence more interesting
Overhead, dozens of luminous drones danced in unison, and all the balcony suites glowed as guests emerged to marvel at the display.
Completing the effect were cascades of neon playing up and down the sides of the great glass elevator, like an artery constructed from Swarovski crystal. All of that was quite unique.
The show’s weakness is its conceit that the presenters are not ordinary guests but temporary trainees, working as cleaners, waiters or receptionists. These jobs are essentially the same, wherever they travel in the world.
Monica’s experience as a chef made the kitchen sequence more interesting, as she learned to slice tofu into hairstrands with a meat cleaver. But Rob didn’t have to fly to Shanghai to be a waiter. Shanklin or Shepton Mallet can offer that.